Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Anorexic Chef

A delicious breakfast for the discerning, eating disordered palate:

Ingredients:

2 small strawberries (4 calories)
1/2 packet splenda (1 calorie)
2 large iceberg lettuce leaves (4 calories)
2 cups coffee (4 calories)


Procedure:


Wash strawberries thoroughly and slice off the leafy part. (preferably removing much of the actual strawberry too)
Slice remainders of the strawberries into paper-thin slices.
Sprinkle half of the packet of splenda on the strawberry slices, save the rest for later.

Tear lettuce leaves into miniscule bits. Serve on a WHITE plate. No other color will do. If you don't have one, go and buy one.

Serve coffee in a giant mug. Note: a giant mug is not required but highly recommended.

Eat the lettuce with your fingers, eating the darkest pieces first. This step should take a while.
Next, pick at the strawberry bits, savoring each "sugary" bite.

Drink the coffee at your leisure.


Calories: 13 or less, depending on how much of the strawberry you discard.

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